Silent for a day

It was another long and frustrating week at work. It's gotten a little less confusing as they finally get all the classes and students put into the right classes and matched up correctly. They gave me a full schedule this semester, and most of the classes in this schedule have a particularly large amount of homework. I have been grading more this week than I think I have since I've been in Korea. It's tiring.

The weekend was pretty good. I went out Friday night with a co-worker and his girlfriend and we met up with a few acquaintances to go clubbing. As much as it's not really my scene, I seem to be doing it a lot lately. (I really didn't want to go out Friday, but it was a birthday party... so, I caved.)

Saturday was less successful than I had hoped, but it was a good day. I had planned to do some shoe shopping and buy some new pants and maybe some new shirts. You know, get all sexified. Instead, I spent about 45 minutes trying to meet up with friends, had lunch with them and got to talk and catch up for a while. Then, I was late to meet another friend. (Sorry!!!) And, we had coffee and 'Taiyaki', which was AMAZINGLY good. Then, we went to Itaewon, which is a largely foreign area. She was looking for a used book and I'm proud to say that I didn't make any impulse buys at the book store. I did, however, purchase some shoes.

The New Shoes

(I'm not even going to tell you how long it took me 

to decide how I wanted them laced up.)

After the shoes, my friend and I went to the bar. We got to talk for a long time and catch up. It was a really great evening. :)

Sunday, today, was very unproductive. First, let me inform you that my voice is gone. I haven't said a thing all day.
Now, on to the rest of the day. I should have cleaned my entire apartment!!! Instead, I went to pick up my dry cleaning, to find that everything in the shopping complex was open, except the dry cleaners. So, I went back home, picked up some stuff to go shopping and I went to buy groceries, rabbit food, and some other necessities. I was hoping to find a new pair of slippers but, alas, they don't have men's slippers anymore. I got almost everything else on my list, but I spent WAY too much.

I came home, took a nap, ate dinner, and pretty much nothing else.


I have no gumption and that frustrates and depresses me, which only adds to the lack of gumption.

The only other thing I did was write a little. And, I mean a little. (Go on, read it.)

I hope everyone had a great week and a great weekend.

The Goal

So, this makes two weeks in a row. Well done me.
I have decided that the goal for this year is to beat my previous best year in the amount of times I blog. That means that I need to blog at least 56 times this year. (The previous best was 2010 with 55. How sad is that?)

As an update, I got Thursday off. I ran errands, had lunch with a friend and sold two of the baby bunnies. So, now I'm down to four males at the apartment. (No more possibility for babies.)

Friday started the new semester at the academy. It was a little hectic since we have two new teachers, one new Korean teacher and one new foreign teacher. Nonetheless, I survived.

One of my best Korean friends came home this week! Yay! We hung out ALL night Friday night. I got home at 7:30am. Good times.

On Saturday I met up with an other Korean friend that I haven't seen in a while. He took me to a gym that he's always trying to get me to go to. We both know one of the personal trainers there and I finally went.
It was the first time I've worked out (other than running) in over seven years... I'm sore. But, surprisingly less sore than I thought I would be. I'm thinking of going regularly but it's 75,000 won a month (or about $70). So, I haven't decided yet. But, I would like to get back in shape. After the workout yesterday, I know, more than ever, that I'm out of shape. :/

Well, there you go. I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Restoration (or: Re-birth)

I come up with idea after idea. I know that I have the time to write. I the energy to do it. The cost of writing is a pencil (or pen). After that, you just need a stock pile of fast food and coffee shop napkins and your on your way. So, why is it so hard for me to write?

When did something that I once believed breathed fire into my soul, become the fear that makes my hands sweat and my mind run blank? I love to write, even now. And, I still firmly believe that it's the strongest part of me. It is a part of me from core to epidermis. I can feel the tingle in my chest, in my toes as I write about it. The excitement and the fear. So, why do I find it so difficult to write?

Why is it that I can't sit down for ten minutes a day at a computer and come up with some tid-bit about my day? I go through each hour with torrents of thoughts. I live each day in a foreign country, filled with millions of people I have never met and continue to imagine stories for. Even though, I would probably enjoy telling you stories of the ones that I have. I work at a place that, despite the way education appears to be set up here, is full of creativity and simple joy. So, why is it that I don't simply write about that.

There is no answer. No answer to any of my faults on writing.

I hope to do my best to rekindle some spark in this blog... and hopefully my creative writing blog.

I have a lot to think about in the next several months. (I will try to keep it all written down.)

Just One Opinion of Many

I suppose I should start by saying that this blog is likely to offend some people. And, I'm glad. I mean, this world just wouldn't be the world I love if no one in it was offended by the opinions of another person. That being said, try to be at least a little open minded people! (You know who you are. ...actually, you probably don't.)

Let me start by saying, "Well done America, you have thwarted your enemy."
Moving on, there is a difference between confidence and cockiness, now put it away America. It's entirely possible that if you just keep letting it hang in the wind like that it's liable to get chopped right off when you're not paying any attention at all. Or, at the very least, you're going to piss in your own face. I'm just saying.
And before any feminists out there get their panties in a bunch at the analogy of the U.S. as a man, you have to admit, even though you're not drowning any more, your still skirt hem deep in misogyny. You're going to have to wade through it for a while longer before you get to the beach.

What spawned on this whole spiel about America? Good question, and honestly, I don't really know. But if I had to guess I'd say that it's the idea of going home again. Sadly I still haven't talked to my boss about the gory details of my homecoming but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. (And, it probably doesn't help that I've had kind of an outside view of home since I've been in Korea.)
Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to go home and there is a lot there I miss. But I know that there is a lot here that I'm going to miss, for sure! And, it's very likely that I'll return... at least right now it's very likely. Unless someone offers me some amazing job in the States that I just can't pass up. (Or anywhere else in the world for that matter.)

Lie of the Ambivalent.

I keep wanting to write some mind blowing "comeback" blog. I have all these well thought out and overly wordy openings. And yet, I just keep erasing them.
All you need to know is that right now I'm very likely damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Originally I had this grandiose blog about how I perceive myself in relation to how I think others perceive me... and maybe I'll write that someday.

[Listening to Galaxies by Laura Veirs

transcending into Moody Monday by Damien Rice]

Hmm... apparently it's a new year.

Let us begin with a conversation about resolutions.

I'm not one for resolutions, never really have been. Not even when they're in organized little lists that let me scratch out sections neatly over time... nope, not even then. I don't know why, I guess I could just never decide what it was that I wanted to resolve.
Well, this year, for about two days, I almost put forth the effort to decide what I'd like to resolute myself to this year. Then a day would go by and I'd decide against it. Recycle. (For a couple days.)

Here's the deal. 

- I barely got my writing done when my grades and diploma counted on it. And that was when a teacher was pushing me. 

- I just don't exercise. I've put that goal before myself countless times, usually at some random point in the year, and I might start for a week or a month... but then it meanders off into the ether of neglected goals.

- Really the only thing I would 'resolve' is to find a crazy good paying job or get into a masters program that paid me while I taught. But... that's been a goal for about two months.

So, no resolutions for me. I'm content resolving as they pop up in the year.

On that note, I have done something kind of spur of the moment and it took a little bit of work but I'm pretty proud of it and really excited at the same time. When I started this blog I said that I would keep away from posting writings that I've been working on. I wanted this blog to be all about the non-fiction me. Well, I've created another blog and I've moved all my posts from diaryland, MySpace, and deviantArt to this new blog. So, there are over 200 posts [from 2003 onward] for you to feast on already and I'll be working on adding more. :)

My Writing and Me

If you don't leave comments... at least follow me. Maybe I'll write something you'll want to comment on someday?

I know it's been about two weeks since my last post again but I don't really have too much to catch you all up on. I didn't do much for the New Year... just went to a local bar and hung out with some friends. And since I'm still in debt from the dentist I haven't really been going out and about too much. My biggest splurge is food. I've been eating like there's no tomorrow. (Maybe it's the cold, my body must REALLY want to hibernate?)

Christmas's Past

Christmas Is Past

Wait a second... Christmas is over already? Where was all the turkey and/or ham? Where were all the Christmas lights and decorations at the places of business? Where was my vacation time? Psh, I even wonder where the mass-marketed, hyper-commercialized aspect was. This was not a 'home cooked' Christmas, that's for sure.

Over the last couple weeks I caught a head cold that slowly filled all my sinuses with pressure and eventually caused a bad tooth to get infected which in turn caused a LOT of pain. Then there was the root canal, the four dentist office visits for the root canal itself, check ups, temporary fillings, a permanent filling. The antibiotics I had to take. (But enough of that 'cause you've heard this tale before.)

I just want to finish by saying that everything is done and even though I had some crazy pain the day I got my filling, now everything is subsiding to normal, happy/ content me.

Christmas weekend. You would think that I'd have all kinds of crazy plans... and I had several offers to hang out but I was feeling a little grinchy this Christmas and was turning down everyone's offers. (Not to mention I was ba-roke!)

I didn't really do anything Christmas Eve. I got off work around 8:30 and was just going to go home and do a lot of nothing the next few days. Well, turns out one of my friends was missing the turkey, the mashed potato, Christmas lit, regular ol' Christmas and so we had some hot Chocolate and watched some Christmas movies and made the best of it. (Even though I was still feeling kind of grinchy.)

Christmas day I felt even more grinchy, not really sure why. I just sat at home alone... drew, tried to write, but nothing came out, watched movies and read. Stopped by work for my co-worker to make sure some stuff was shut off and then was going to just go back home and hibernate but got a text inviting me to a Christmas party that I'd been invited to online.

Well, I decided to go. (Regardless of the fact that I knew I'd have to take a taxi home and deplete a good chunk of my funds.) It was good. I had fun. I was still a little wore down from my grinchy mood and the antibiotics and pain meds I was on, but I had fun. We played some games, listened to some Christmas music, did a white elephant gift exchange. Ate sub-par cold-ish pizza countered with some phenomenal cupcakes! Not too shabby of an evening.

Sunday I went into Seoul and hung out a bit. Had lunch, had coffee, played at the arcade, it was good fun. But the friend I went with ended up not feeling well at all by the time we got back to Guri so I took care of her and made sure she wasn't sick and alone. (She had some pretty bad cold-sweats going on. Not cool.)

Pretty 'normal' weekend over-all but it was good.

AND since we got snow on Tuesday, my boss decided that it would be a snow day and I had the day off. (Of course that was the day of my last dental appointment and permanent filling and afterwards I had some tooth pain... but I got the day off! Whoo!)

Nothing too exciting... but there you have it. :)

[Listening to Hills Like White Elephants by Isles & Glaciers]